new zealand wrap-up

we are currently in the town of Waipu, which i had picked for the specific reason that it had nothing to do.  that's not entirely true ... i thought there would be a few activities, but enough boredom to force me to do some schoolwork and finish up my novel.  well, there is certainly no shortage of boredom.

there is one bar in town, which is conveniently attached to our hotel and is populated by old men gambling on horses, beginning from the early hour of 11 am.  there is one cafe called "y-not" and then an odd take-out place boasting "magic tasty" chinese and european food.  what exactly is "european food?"  i am imagining pierogies topped with spanikopita wrapped in a pizza on a bed of paella.  anyway, the only "fancy" sit-down restaurant is called the "pizza barn," however, when we tried to eat dinner there at 8:30 on a sunday, we found out that they were no longer accepting new dinner customers.  walking the streets, the entire town was abandoned.  i kid you not, the bolshevik shouted "helloooo?" down the street and it just echoed back at us.  8:30 pm.

anyhow, we will be off to melbourne, australia to visit my aunt and uncle!  but before we head over to OZ, i'd like to do a brief summary of some of our adventures that i had not previously discussed.  here goes:

we spent a couple of days in christchurch, despite the fact that the rugby games were cancelled because of all of the earthquake devastation.  i think it's important to continue giving business to areas that are struggling after a natural disaster.  while we were there the entire center of the city was fenced off due to the reconstruction work.  however, i've heard that they will soon be offering tours through the city center to see the devastation and the money will all go to rebuilding the city.  here at the city gate there was a memorial of sorts where people have left flowers and notes to their loved ones.  it was quite sad actually, but i'm glad we went.

we also went to a place called waitomo, where they have a system of caves that are full of glow worms.    we did this thing where we rappelled into a cave, went tubing inside the cave, then climbed out.  this picture doesn't really get the full effect, but you can see there are these little glowing dots behind us, which are in fact glow worms.  it was actually quite cool when we shut off our headlamps and then all of a sudden the cave was filled with all these brightly glowing dots that hadn't been there before.





while we were in dunedin, we visited baldwin street, which is the steepest street in the world.  (even steeper than in san francisco) ... which leads me to comment that new zealand loves to proclaim that they have the most superlative something: steepest street, tallest rock arch, most voluminous sea cave, etc etc (we have in fact seen all of these sights).  it was difficult to really photograph how steep it was.  this was the best we could do.  but it was seriously steep!

alright ... that is all i need to report on new zealand.  on to australia!

you won't get my chocolatey secrets: a cadbury factory tour

apparently, here in new zealand everyone thinks you're going to steal their recipe for everlasting gobstoppers.  so it wasn't a big surprise when we went to tour the cadbury factory that we weren't allowed to take our cameras.    but if you are wondering what it's like inside, it's pretty much exactly like this ... http://youtu.be/RZ-uV72pQKI (please ignore the strange 10 second anime intro)

one thing i have to say about cadbury is that they know how to run a tour ... a woman in a purple oompa-loomap-esque jumpsuit led us around the factory, her pockets laden with mini cadbury bars.  sometime she would pose a question to the group, such as, "where does cadbury get their milk from?"  the answer is right here in new zealand, and if you answer correctly, you get a piece of chocolate.  and if you answer incorrectly, you also get a piece of chocolate.  and sometimes you get a piece of chocolate just for climbing several flights of stairs or holding the door for someone.  brilliant.  i love the reward system.  i am way more prone to actively participate if chocolate is involved.

this actually would've been very helpful on a 4x4 excursion we took in tahiti.  our tour guide would stop for easily 15-20 minutes at a time and ramble on about various tahitian things, asking us questions that we didn't know the answers to and then waiting an uncomfortably long time before finally telling us the answer.  this process could've been made much more pleasant if there had been miniature cadbury bars involved.

the highlight of our tour was when we watched the chocolate "waterfall" inside a large chocolate silo (the silo housed chocolate and was not actually made of chocolate) ... the waterfall rapidly dumped one ton of chocolate in a rather spectacular cascade.  the tour guide told us that one ton of chocolate is worth about $5,000 NZ ... when asked what purpose this waterfall served in the chocolate making process, our tour guide said, "none ... it's just really cool." ahhh, new zealand.

by the end of our tour we had accumulated quite a large variety of cadbury products, not to mention all the chocolate and/or marshmallow-centered items we ate along the way.  (i think there is an unusually large amount of marshmallow here in NZ)  needless to say, we felt a bit ill upon exiting our tour.  and then we were suckered into eating an unprocessed cocoa bean, which tasted absolutely awful, and only got more repulsive the longer you chewed it (as shown here at right)

this is not a picture of hobbiton

this photo was taken outside
of the tourist office in matamata, nz
it is NOT part of the hobbiton tour

a friend recently asked me, "hey miss dewey decimal, where are the pictures of hobbits?"  well new zealand is more than just hobbits my friend.  shame on you for thinking otherwise.

that's a lie.  new zealand is all about lord of the rings.

so i did go to "hobbiton" which is the sheep farm that peter jackson turned into The Shire and will be filming the upcoming film, The Hobbit starting next week.  however, in order to be let into hobbiton i needed to sign my life away, promising not to post any of my pictures on the internet.  SO, if you know me in real life and would like to see my pictures of hobbiton, you will have to come over my house and look at them in a private, personal, non-commercial way.  like, maybe i'll leave my laptop open and then while i am fixing us some tea and finger sandwiches you will happen to locate my pictures in iPhoto.

but here is what i can tell you without fear of peter jackson suing me ... hobbiton consists of many hobbit houses built into the sides of hills.  they look really cool, i swear.

the tour consists of walking around hobbiton on a fenced-in path so that you can't ruin the set.  apparently they have had some problems with visitors climbing on stuff and killing plants and doing other damage to the very carefully crafted set.

but you do get a very nice view even though you can't go right up to the houses and pose in the door frames like they did in America's Next Top Model.

our tour guide told us many interesting facts about the making of the set, none of which i can share with you here, as i am sworn to secrecy.  then afterwards we got to watch a sheep shearing show.

yeah, that's right ... a sheep shearing show.

there is something i realized being here in new zealand ... it has always been my dream to shear a sheep. i think i must have seen some little clip about it on mr. rogers or sesame street, and now i really want to take those crazy shears and shave a sheep.

i finally get to hold a sheep ... almost as good as
shearing one myself

they do NOT let random tourists shear sheep in new zealand.  even though they have SO many sheep available.  and trust me, i have tried.  we have seen many a sheep show advertised and none of them let audience members shear the sheep. wtf?!

however, in hobbiton, after watching a trained professional shear a sheep (apparently it takes four years of training to be allowed to shear sheep) ... we were allowed to go into a penned little area where the nice sheep farmer released a whole bunch of lambs.

ps.  i think more villains need to shout "release the lambs!"

eye on "sports:" zorbing

so new zealand is a very beautiful place with lots of many natural wonders to explore.  however, when you are not exploring these natural wonders, it has come to my attention that there isn't a hell of a lot to do.  but do not fret my dear blog readers, the good people of new zealand have invented a variety of activities to keep busy!

if you've ever had a pet hamster, you probably already familiar with the concept of zorbing. pretty much, due to what i can only imagine was immense boredom, the people of new zealand created a large human size hamster ball.  this is no normal hamster ball though, it has been engineered by top new zealand scientists to allow for human beings to be propelled down steep hills without injury.  thank god!  how long did mankind have to wait for such technology to be developed?!

there are a few different zorbing variations: wet, dry, single, group.  in a dry zorb you are strapped in to a space simulation type device inside the zorb, so as you are rolling down the hill you will be tumbling upside-down, leaving you very very dizzy.  this sounded torturous to yours truly as i do not like to be upside-down.  in a wet zorb, warm water is sprayed into the zorb allowing you to splash around freely inside the ball whilst you are rolling down the hill without fear of friction burns (and without fear of drowning).  then there is the option to do the wet zorb with up to three people all bouncing around at the same time.  so many choices!  what a country!

and that is how my beloved bolshevik and i wound up splashing down a hill inside a giant hamster ball on a brisk new zealand day.

p.s.  if you stand up in the zorb when you start to move (as the bolshevik did much to my initial dismay) you go down the hill crazy fast.

eye on sports: rugby world cup

you can't go anywhere without
running into some
argentine hooligans

i bet you have always thought to yourself, “self, i wish that miss dewey decimal would commentate on more sporting events!”  (and by more you mean at least one)  well dear blog readers, you are in luck because today i am going to expand my charming brand of witty observations into the realm of rugby.  hold onto your hats!  (hats are something that people sometimes wear when playing sports, but not so much in rugby where hats are not typically implemented ... are you witnessing this sporty knowledge?!)

SO, here in new zealand everyone is very excited for the rugby world cup.  i am supporting the new zealand national team, the All Blacks.  i support this team for the following reasons:

          1.  they do a maori war dance called a "haka" at the beginning of each match to 
          intimidate their opponents.  it's pretty badass and i like dancing.

          2.  they wear all black, which is much more sophisticated than the typical garish color 
         combinations that many sports team have on their uniforms.

          3.  i already own an All Blacks hoodie that the bolshevik purchased for me the last time    
          he was in new zealand.  this is part of his attempt to get me to like sports by appealing to 
          my interest in accessories and outerwear (i now own three, yes THREE, sports related 
          hoodies!)

waldo watches the maori boats row
into town on the big screen

yup, getting my support of your team is that easy.

moving on!

when we arrived in auckland it was a few days before the opening game of the RWC and the excitement was palpable.  every store window was somehow tying in rugby and the All Blacks into their displays, there were signs all over the city advertising different opening day events, etc.   even though i really don't care about sports, i found myself getting excited too.

on the day of the opening game, there was a huge event in the city center where hundreds of maori tribesmen rowed into the harbor on huge maori war boats.  sadly, we couldn't actually get anywhere near the harbor since there were so many people there.  but we were able to catch glimpses of it on the huge screens they had in the middle of the street.  this was followed by a maori parade down the main street which we also couldn't see because there were so many people.  it was around this time that we decided that maybe it was best to just get to the stadium since we couldn't actually see any of the events that were going on where we were.

i join in a haka

at the stadium there was an opening ceremony that included a long dance number that was not dissimilar to the interpretive dance numbers that they used to have at the oscars.  there were hundreds of people running around the pitch (that means field!) in loin cloths, carrying shields and spears, and weird metallic sailboats raced across the grass.  then another hundred or so dancers came out dressed as rugby players and were dancing with a young blonde boy who was then dramatically raised about 75 feet in the air as he tried to grab hold of a gigantic inflatable rugby ball floating overhead.  this part was actually quite cool, although it made me wonder how this kid's parents ever signed off on this as it seemed highly dangerous.

then there were some fireworks and a maori guy blew a large horn and then eventually some guys came out and played a game of rugby.

sonny bill williams gets help
putting on his super tight jersey
deeeee-lish

rugby is very similar to american football except they don't stop the clock every five seconds.  they just keep playing, which is nice because it keeps the game moving.


the highlight of this particular game was when sonny bill williams' jersey was ripped in a scrum (big pile of sweaty rugby men) and it exposed his very cool maori tribal tattoo.  then there was some lovely footage on the big screen of him getting assistance in putting on a new jersey.  (these jerseys are super tight)  turns out he's totally cut.

miss dewey d
reporting to you live from
the new zealand rugby world cup
2011

oh, and the All Blacks beat tonga.  GO THE MIGHTY ALL BLACKS!

and thus concludes my short-lived career as a sporty commentator.

the story of auckland sky tower

Once upon a time in a far away land, there was a large tower ...

one day this tower was visited by a boy in lightning pajamas ...

and then THREE ...

TWO ...

ONE ...

SPLAT!

just kidding, he's fine ... he did it twice in fact.