just one thing before you go ...

i was talking to my ex-step-father (don't ask questions, just go with it) ... and he was saying that he doesn't ever prepare for vacations because he always goes to the same place and he doesn't do any activities beyond eating and sitting on the beach.  must be relaxing.  anyway, as you could imagine, our adventures take some planning.  and of course when you're leaving for an extended period of time, there are all these little things you have to get done before you go.  as stressful as this can be, the past 3 weeks seem to have included an inordinate number of ridiculous problems.  observe:

- went to the dentist and found out i have 4 cavities, one of which needs a root canal.  after many phone calls with my insurance company i found out that said root canal is not covered because i have 8 other teeth that touch.  yup, that's right ... because i am neither a hobo nor a crackhead, my teeth are too good for a root canal to be considered a "necessity."  moving on!

- spent an extended period of time desperately trying to prove to a community college that i am in fact a resident of new york ... please note that i have never lived in any other state other than new york in my entire life.  thankfully i finally convinced them (it involved my brother venturing into our mother's attic in search of old tax returns) and they have allowed me to enroll in online classes.  nothing better than lugging a bunch of textbooks around an entire continent for 2.5 months!  yay!

miss fifi took this lovely shot of me
amongst the flash flooding caused by the
"hurricane" ... do not confuse this flooding
with a small puddle created by a hose left on.
news casters have assured me that this is
hurricane related devastation.
p.s.  does this guy have enough sandbags?
p.p.s.  does this guy even understand what
sandbags are used for?

- went out to long island because my mother was having a medical procedure done, only to experience a minor earthquake while she was in the operating room.  it was a very minor earthquake, but seriously?  an earthquake?

- after planning a nice little going away party for ourselves, our lives are interrupted by a "hurricane" and the city's entire mass transit system is preemptively shut down for no reason, making our party impossible to get to.  thank you to those two devoted guests who attended!

- however, during the extreme boredom of the non-hurricane, i was able to finish the online portion of my scuba certification.  i am now ready for the practical portion of my open-water training!

- yesterday i proudly strode into the dentist office for the 4th time in 3 weeks, ready to receive my crown, only to find out that the crown didn't fit.  really?!  but it was so expensive!  and of course there is not enough time to re-adjust the crown before we leave today, so i am being shipped off to Oceania with only a temporary tooth that is cemented in place.   no salt water taffy for me.  le sigh.

- and today, before we leave for the airport at 3pm we need to rent a zip car, load it with our crap, and move our remaining stuff into storage.  why didn't we do that yesterday?  because after the crown fitting i spent several hours tracking down textbooks.  one of which i found in nyc and was able to purchase for the bargain price of $145 (what the hell?  these books aren't even interesting!  why are they so expensive?)  the other the bolshevik was cleverly able to find on a new zealand website and it is being shipped to our hostel in auckland.  ridiculous.

so .... off we go!!

¡obra social!

hey you americans out there ... i just want to gloat about my new health insurance!

for AR$260 a month (all taxes and fees included), i now have health insurance.  i can go to any doctor, dentist, specialist or hospital on the list FOR FREE without the need of a referral.  i get 40% of all medications as long as i have a prescription, and 30% off glasses or contacts (which i need since i seemed to have left my glasses somewhere between peru and buenos aires). and for a measly 20 pesos i can get a doctor to come to my house.  i think i'm going to do this at least once, just for the fun of it.  also, i am pretty sure that after one year i can get one free cosmetic surgery?  am i reading this right?  i can get a free boob job?

moving on!

anyway, totally psyched to go to a whole bunch o' doctors.

a hoarder's diary part 2: pharmaceutical powerhouse

5 months of nasonex
3 months of astepro
3 months of singulair
3 months of allegra
5 months of loestrin
4 epi-pens
and a year's worth of contacts

as cute as howard hughes

i may have mentioned my paranoia regarding dust mites.  let me tell you a little something about dust mites ... they are microscopic organisms that feed on dead human skin.  they typically live in bedding and i am highly allergic to them.  gross.  totally gross.

so i come back from my week's vacation in brooklyn, and after just two nights of sleeping in what i neurotically assume is a bed invested with dust mites (i have washed all the bedding, including the pillow, and i have placed two sheets in the mattress in hopes that they create a barrier between me and the dust mites) i develop a bad sore throat and get all congested.  so then i stay home from work because i am feeling very yucky, but then i worry .... will i only get worse, staying in this dusty dust mite environment?

and that is when i decided that since there is no one else living here to witness my craziness, i shall wear a surgical mask to protect myself from inhaling dust and dust mites.  yup.  that's right.  i am one step closer to being howard hughes.  but to be perfectly honest, i think that it's working. 

maybe south america will have some sort of fabulous magical environment that is void of things that i am allergic to.