A disgruntled librarian packs it up and leaves fabulous New York City behind,
going on random global adventures,
while simultaneously promoting literacy
and spreading the love of the written word.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

what would George Bernard Shaw do?

so we went to this town called Rotorua where they have a crazy amount of thermal activity ... there are hot springs everywhere, and hot mud pools and random steam escaping from the ground in various parts of town.  in fact, we were told that some people have even had to move their homes multiple times due to a dangerous amount of steam and activity on their land. i think after i moved my entire house the first time, i might consider moving my house to a less thermal town the second time.

anyway, we went to this place called "Hell's Gate" which is a barren rocky wasteland with huge thermal mud pools, many of which are so hot they would actually cook you alive.  others are just like a really nice mud jacuzzi.  a maori tribe used to live in the area and they used the pools to cook in, create medicines, have a bath, commit suicide, etc ...  very useful these pools.  but it makes me think of how shocked they must have been when they went to visit other tribes and found out that other people had to actually start their own fires in order to create heat.  suckers.

moving on!  apparently, although europeans visited from time to time, the only white man the maori tribe seemed to accept with open arms was George Bernard Shaw.  random, no?  i don't know, maybe they  were all big fans of Pygmalion.

so GBS visits and he is really taken aback by this crazy thermal area that the maori's live in, and he dubs it "hell's gate."  and then as he's being toured around he proceeds to rename all the different areas as he sees fit ... "oh this pool is now called  'sodom' and this muddy area here is now called 'gomorrah.' 

can you imagine?  he just renamed half their land, and they allowed it.  strange.  they must really dig irish playwrights.

anyway, it is in the spirit of George Bernard Shaw that i have coined my first rugby term.  now, if you have ever watched a game of rugby (and i assume most of you haven't) there is this thing called a "scrum" in which the players get into a huddle sort of formation and then slam into each other and whoever has the better scrum gets control of the ball.  (this may not be an accurate interpretation of the rules)  

but then there is this other thing they do when someone with the ball gets tackled, their teammates make a train behind them, passing the ball between their legs until finally the player on the end of the train is able to take the ball away from the area.  the players are all very very close and there is a lot of ass on groin action, not to mention some head in ass action as shown here ... well, it's all very homoerotic.

i feel that this move is different from the scrum used at the beginning of the game, however, as it is a means of getting the ball from the tackled player back into play.  with that said, i hereby call this move ... "the ass train."

yup, you can thank george bernard shaw for that.  he was my inspiration.

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