it's because i am

• it's because i was sad that you cheated on me and i tried to talk to you about my feelings
• it's because i rarely stay out past midnight anymore
• it's because my underwear isn't sexy enough
• it's because even though i finished my novel i never got it published
• it's because i often get frustrated by mainland china bureaucracy
• it's because i really don't like the Captain America movies
• it's because i always have at least two currencies of coins in my wallet and often try to pay with the wrong one
• it's because i asked you to talk to a therapist
• it's because my hands and feet are always cold and then i think it's cute to try to warm myself up on you but really that's annoying.  no one wants that.
• it's because i calmed down as i grew up
• it's because i asked you to call me that night and that was asking too much
• it's because after dinner and a few post-dinner drinks i'm usually ready for bed
• it's because sometimes i am rude to customer service people if they are being unreasonable
• it's because i never successfully got a band going
• it's because i cannot walk in high heels and refuse to even try
• it's because i always have to get a popcorn at the movies even if we've already eaten and then sometimes i'll get a stomach ache because i ate too much popcorn
• it's because i called you and texted you too many times that one weekend
• it's because you lost a bunch of weight and i hadn't (but look at me now!)
• it's because i feel more comfortable wearing late 50s style one-piece bathing suits
• it's because i'm more cute and zany and eccentric and artsy and when you show a male friend my picture they won't be all "wow, she's hot" and that's what you want now
• it's because sometimes i'd send you recordings of me singing songs as a way of communicating my feelings when really i should've kept it to myself
• it's because i refuse to learn the metric system and ask you to tell me the temperature in fahrenheit
• it's because i get sick more than the average person and need to see a lot of doctors
• it's because i didn't want to spend new year's eve in the square and i wanted to drink wine on the balcony instead
• it's because i tried to make us work through our emotions
• it's because i wear too many bold-print dresses and i should dress more like one of those girls in shiny tank tops and tight black skirts ready to go out to the club
• it's because i lost my mojo

• it's because i couldn't compete with the women of shanghai who throw themselves at you
• it's because i couldn't convince you not to give up on us
• it's because i wasn't lovable enough for you to want to keep me around
• it's because i can't detach my emotions from everything like you can

• it's because i am